Between the Seastrand and the Street (59 words)

classic Classic list List threaded Threaded
17 messages Options
Bea Bea
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Between the Seastrand and the Street (59 words)

This post was updated on .
CONTENTS DELETED
The author has deleted this message.
Bea Bea
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Sea Strand and the Street

This is a true story. The only poetic license I took was with the mode of transportation. Although I have walked by that field many times, always stopping to watch the owl(s), today while going by on the bus, I saw it had become a blacktopped lot. It saddened me.
Alex Rosel (WV) Alex Rosel (WV)
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Sea Strand and the Street (59 words)

In reply to this post by Bea
Nice
Bea Bea
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Sea Strand and the Street (59 words)

Thanks, Alex.

My husband mentioned that this line "Between the sea strand and the street" needs some work, and I think he's right. But of the three or so possibilities I came up with, two were too twee (I just love that word! I only recently discovered it and it tickles me.) The other had an inner rhyme that was inelegant.

Any opinions about that line? Does is need to be tweaked? Any ideas, if so?
Alex Rosel (WV) Alex Rosel (WV)
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Sea Strand and the Street (59 words)

In reply to this post by Bea
Poetry's not really my thing, Bea. But, yours was short and it just hit home.

As to that line, I know (at least I think I do) what you mean. So, it works for me. But, I think it might be seastrand (???)

And, I agree, twee is a great word. Now I think about it, I haven't used it for some time...
Bea Bea
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Sea Strand and the Street (59 words)

You're right about seastrand, Alex. Thank you! I'll fix it right now.
Bayleaf Bayleaf
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Sea Strand and the Street

In reply to this post by Bea
The owls and the cuckoo did fly away
To find a new land that suits
They now share a nest, 'that's odd' you say,
'I didn't know they were in ca-hoots'.

Boom, boom! (sorry!)

Aw, yours is a great poem, Bea. It's simple (please take that as a compliment) yet captures a moment in time and records a sad indictment of a world we consider 'ours' often with scant regard to the other creatures in it. They are looking to knock down an old brick tower near me from which bats fly round our garden on summer evenings. It worries me already that they will be gone.



Bea Bea
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Sea Strand and the Street

Thanks, Bayleaf. Actually, the 'sharing' of the nest isn't so odd, though in a different way than you might mean. Cuckoos have a habit of laying their own eggs in other birds' nests. When the cuckoo hatches, it rolls the other eggs out of their rightful nest (or even the hatchlings, if they've already hatched.) A friend of mine who observes birds says sometimes adult cuckoos even eat other birds' hatchlings. Hence the 'knavish tricks' the owl thwarted with her screeching.

And thanks for the encouragement. Believe my, I do take 'simple' as a compliment. I love simplicity!
Bayleaf Bayleaf
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Sea Strand and the Street

I work as a gardener out in the sticks and normally start hearing the cuckoos about this time of year - and yes, its always with a bit of mixed emotions as they are such s#its! Bit similar with magpies - beautiful birds but with appalling anti-social behaviour issues.
CMJordan CMJordan
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Seastrand and the Street (59 words)

In reply to this post by Bea
I love this poem Bea!

I would leave it as is.

I think almost everyone can relate the the overtaking of man from nature.

Daily more and more cement and glass crowd our beautiful natural surroundings. Anilatating not only the landscape but threatening the existence of all who need it to survive!

Carol
Bea Bea
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Seastrand and the Street (59 words)

Thank you for your input, Carol. I'm so glad you liked it.
peggles peggles
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Seastrand and the Street (59 words)

In reply to this post by Bea
Hello Bea.
I love to read and write poems.
This was devine and well composed.


peggles
Bea Bea
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Seastrand and the Street (59 words)

Thanks, Peggles. I know you like poetry, and I'm glad you liked this. Good to have you 'back'!
Bea Bea
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Seastrand and the Street (59 words)

This post was updated on .
CONTENTS DELETED
The author has deleted this message.
peggles peggles
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Seastrand and the Street (59 words)

Hello Bea,
why would you change the name .
I can't see the connection to Rio or am I missing something.



peggles
Bea Bea
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Seastrand and the Street (59 words)

Peggles, I live in Rio and the asphalting of the field was done for Olympic-preparing purposes. The street in front of the beach is part of the street bicycle racing circuit, and the field is being used for temporary structures for the events.  
peggles peggles
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Between the Seastrand and the Street (59 words)

Got it

Thank you


peggles