Debut day.

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jimmy white jimmy white
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Debut day.

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John Yeoman John Yeoman
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Re: Debut day.

Welcome, Jimmy. It's great to see you here! We all look forward to reading excerpts from your work and to working with you.
jimmy white jimmy white
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peggles peggles
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Re: Debut day.

In reply to this post by jimmy white
Good morning Jimmy,


welcome to this site.
I am sure you will enjoy being here.
They are a friendly helpful bunch



Peggles
jimmy white jimmy white
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peggles peggles
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Re: Debut day.

Hello again Jimmy,

I had to smile at the image you presented, huddled away writing in secrecy.

Getting words out of your mind on to paper is a struggle but so satisfying when appreciated by your peers.

This you will find on this forum from established authors. Where else can you call on them as a friend.

Do post something soon.



peggles
jimmy white jimmy white
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Linnet Linnet
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Re: Debut day.

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Hi Jimmy
Hello and welcome.  Have you seen Monty Python's three Yorkshire -men sketch?  "We were so poor..."
I didn't see an indoor lavatory until I was seven, but don't tell anybody. It's all grist to the mill ,lad.
Regards, Linnet

jimmy white jimmy white
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engemi ferreira engemi ferreira
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Re: Debut day.

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Hi jimmy,
Not to worry about the flowing of the chapters or paragraphs. I found as long as I focus on the words, the rest take care of themselves.

Someone said, the art of writing is the art of fixing yourself to the seat of a chair and not getting up until you're done. I am already at the stage where it is such fun letting words flow, I don't want to get up from my chair, lol

Have fun
engemi
jimmy white jimmy white
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engemi ferreira engemi ferreira
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Re: Debut day.

Hi Jimmy,
I was wondering. do you have a 'first reader'? As I understand it, a somewhat knowledgeable friend, colleague, family member, whatever, who will read and give you his or her honest opinion? It might be that your 'lack of flowing' doesn't bother anyone else.
On the other hand, if it really is bothersome, then it might only need a short sentence, or a word, or a mood-shift by using nature or animals, you know f.i. when there is a shift between a relaxed scene and then suddenly something totally freakishly frightening, you could interject a small sentence ... "close by the beastly howls of a dog sounded, ripping the tranquil air to shreds" ... etc.

I don't know if this is helpful as I might not fully understand what you mean by 'not flowing'. Maybe you could post a few short passages where you find this missing element so we could get a better idea of your predicament.

I am doing an MA in Ceative Writing with a very creative Writer as my study leader, and he had us do some excersizes in which we would write a short-short story, then had us interject various different elements, like focusing on something in the main character's attire, and use that in the writing to show intent. My character f.i. had a handbag in her hand, to which I certainly didn't give any conscious attention.  So I had the women (a hitchhiker which the couple in our short story was supposed to have picked up) fiddle with her bag in a rather stressful way. This - in the end - changed my whole story. For the better, I must say.

So do post a few short paragraphs and lets see?

engemi
Bea Bea
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Re: Debut day.

Good idea, Engemi, for Jimmy to give us some examples of what's puzzling him. How about it, Jimmy?

And thanks for sharing that exercise. I can see how it could be very helpful.
jimmy white jimmy white
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Bea Bea
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Re: Debut day.

Here's a wee word on how to post your work. It's from the home page of this site. The sub-forum you want for critique if "My Word" as it says below (actually I think its whole name is "My Work for Critique".

"First, click on the sub-forum where you want to post. (Please don't use the New Topic link at top left of the Forum itself. Otherwise, your post will float in a vacuum, alone and forlorn, until I sigh and move it.) The sub-forum will open up. Then click New Topic at top left to enter your post. Here are the forums:  

   Hello. Add a few words about yourself so others can welcome you.
   My Work. Drop in a passage of up to 3000 words for gentle, helpful feedback from fellow members.
   Writing Buddies. Find your own personal writing correspondent.
   Writers' Lounge. The place to discuss anything related to writing - or anything at all!
   Flash Fiction contest. Win $50 cash in our monthly contest for stories up to 500 words.
   Special Offers To Members. Take advantage of these writing-related services.
     Your Writing Resources. 'How to' posts from SPP members or guests at our affiliated site, Writers' Village."

If you want feedback on something longer than 3000 words, here again are John's own words:

"Don't put up more than 3000 words at any one time. The shorter your passage, the faster - and more perceptively - it will be critiqued. But if you'd  like feedback on a longer passage, or even an entire novel, see the instructions at top of the sub-forum My Work For Critique: 'Need beta readers?'"

There's more important information on how to use the site on the home page, which I'd recommend you check out. It's not long, and it's quite simple once you're read it, and of course it's there to refer to whenever you need a refresher, as I sometimes do.

Can't wait to see some of your work!

jimmy white jimmy white
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