Just off the top of my head it took 6 mins

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Pat Linum Pat Linum
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Just off the top of my head it took 6 mins

Smelly BY: Pat Linum 170 words

Of course I smell!  What’s wrong with that? I love it wherever I am, I smell. All my friends smell and to be honest, as I always am, we all love it.
My friend Ted smells a lot more than me and he stills gets more cuddles than I do.
Now, about Ted, he lives with Val and John and he smells all the time. When they all go over to Carol and Paul’s place Val leaves poor little Ted out in the garden on his ownsome because he smells. When he comes to my house we both have to play out in the garden because we smell.
I love it when we go for a walk in the country because no one minds that I smell. I can run around and breathe in the lovely fresh air and smell all I like and nobody minds.
When I smell the rabbits I chase them. But they always get away which is ok with me because I am a nice dog.
John Yeoman John Yeoman
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Re: Just off the top of my head it took 6 mins

Clever, Pat! You could defer the punchline by persuading the reader at first - even more emphatically - that the narrator is a human being. Eg: 'I have an acute sense of smell. Not everybody has it. My mistress doesn't have it. That's just as well, given how much I smell.' Etc. You could also play more on the joke inherent in the verb 'to smell', which can be both an active and passive verb: the narrator can smell things but is also smelly. I can see your next piece of micro-fiction coming along - The Tale Of A Tortoise - in which the reader assumes at first that the narrator is a torpid reptile but discovers he is a man.
engemi ferreira engemi ferreira
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Re: Just off the top of my head it took 6 mins

Oho, John
I love this idea, you are forever throwing away hints and ideas that make me either love their wit and innuendo, or make me run to the keyboard and start hammering away like with this delightful man-tortoise. Please forgive me for stealing it. I'll make sure he isn't too recognizable.

I also understand that it is possible for you to have a mind like a candy display cabinet, simply because you are giving away these gems all the time; there will always be room for more. Please don't ever stop

And the possibilities ensuing through such a story, with leading the reader astray - on and of - are priceless

engemi
engemi ferreira engemi ferreira
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Re: Just off the top of my head it took 6 mins

In reply to this post by Pat Linum
Hi Pat,
Just think, if it only took you 6 mins to cook up such a treat, you could have book full of them within a month, and if you have it published in a smallish edition say 4" x 6" with a story per page; it would make the ideal pocket edition for people who have to wait at meetings or train stations. airports etc, and an ideal gift to some one in hospital recovering as laughte always make one heal faster.


Go for it, Pat! I simply loved it, though I do agree with John. I think the surprise element in stories always make them more-ish

engemi
Pat Linum Pat Linum
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Re: Just off the top of my head it took 6 mins

Hi
 
Thanks for that. I am at 46 of 101 'Short Things to Read' and you have given me the way to try and publish it.
 
PL
 
 
 
In a message dated 07/02/2016 07:31:06 GMT Standard Time, [hidden email] writes:
Hi Pat,
Just think, if it only took you 6 mins to cook up such a treat, you could have book full of them within a month, and if you have it published in a smallish edition say 4" x 6" with a story per page; it would make the ideal pocket edition for people who have to wait at meetings or train stations. airports etc, and an ideal gift to some one in hospital recovering as laughte always make one heal faster.


Go for it, Pat! I simply loved it, though I do agree with John. I think the surprise element in stories always make them more-ish

engemi


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Bea Bea
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Re: Just off the top of my head it took 6 mins

In reply to this post by John Yeoman
Don't laugh, John. I once knew someone whose nickname was Tortuga (tortoise in Spanish) for the very reason you'd suspect.